Ending a relationship is never easy. We once thought that it was everything, but the relationship didn’t work out. Finally, you decide to separate. It’s really hard, but life must keep going. We also try to move on and escape the shadow.
However, the fact that moving on isn’t that easy. Actually, how is move on viewed from a scientific point of view? Find the answer here, let’s!
1. It takes 11 weeks to feel better after parting
How long do we need to feel better after separating? The study published in The Journal of Positive Psychology shows that the average person takes 11 weeks to accept the situation, explained the Independent page.
Different studies are published on the Bustle page. Based on a survey conducted on 2,000 people, on average it took 13.5 weeks to start a date with a new person after breaking up from a previous relationship. However, not all of them do serious dating, some are dating new people to escape from the grief of a previous relationship.
2. The best way to move on is to think about our ex’s bad
Which is the most effective way to move on? Based on a study published in the Journal of Experimental Psychology: General, the best way is to think of the ugliness of our former spouse. This study involved 24 people from the age of 20-37 years who had a long-term relationship. The average relationship they have had is around 2.5 years.
24 of these people were divided into three groups. There are three strategies applied to forget their ex-lover. First, they are asked to think of bad and annoying things from their ex-spouse. Second, they are asked to read statements that encourage them to receive what they feel. For example, “It’s better to be loved but end, than never to be loved at all.”
The third method is to give distraction. When participants think of ex-lovers, they must turn their attention to other things, such as discussing weather or television shows. As a result, the most effective strategy is to think about the ugliness of our ex-spouse! However, it should also be noted that they also experienced the worst mood from the other two groups, explained the Elite Daily page.
3. The loss of a loved one is tantamount to losing yourself
The presence of lovers turns out to have a big influence on our lives. So is the loss. Because he used to do everything together, his loss brought a big blow. According to a study published on the website of The Atlantic, losing a lover is like losing yourself. In fact, we can also lose our sense of confidence and self-esteem.
Not only that, studies show that separation affects us in looking at ourselves. Not infrequently, we are haunted by the shadows of the same thing in the future.
It makes us afraid to establish new relationships because we do not want to feel the same wounds happen again. We also have insecurity and not feeling good about ourselves.
4. Listening to sad music helps in the move on process
Yes, you didn’t read it wrong. In fact sad music can help move on! Based on the Science Alert page, sad music can trigger memories and can lift our mood. Apparently, melancholic music is related to the hormone prolactin, a chemical that is able to overcome sadness.
In addition, listening to music also releases the hormone dopamine which is associated with pleasure, a sense of peace and happiness. From here, we get a sense of happiness after listening to sad songs. On the other hand, sad music can also make us more creative, you know!